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40+ Funny Travel Quotes to Make You Laugh

40+ Funny Travel Quotes to Make You Laugh

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There’s nothing like chortling over funny travel quotes to beat the in-between-trips blues. Check out this bumper collection of the funniest, silliest, and most relatable travel quotes out there.

We’ve also included funny travel quotes from movies, TV, and books to inspire your watchlist and next read. 

Short, funny travel quotes

Short and sweet, these funny quotes about travel will have you scrambling for the travel brochures!

“A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?”

“Yeah, working is great. But have you tried traveling?” 

“Running to the gate is my cardio.”

“People having babies. And I’m like…what country am I going to next?”

Me: “I want to travel.” 

My bank account: “Like, to the park?”

Friend: “Let’s go to Bora Bora. 

Me: I wanna, but I’m pora pora.”

“When you’re supposed to take the 8 a.m. train to the office but miss the stop and end up at the airport”

“I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon.”

I’ve got 99 problems and travel could solve literally all of them.”

“I love my job, but only when I’m on vacation.”

funny travel quote over the top of a photo of a beach.

Down-to-earth funny travel quotes

These silly travel quotes are relatable. 

Europeans: “I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home.” Australians: “I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.”

“Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.”

“I Googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacation.”

“I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.”

Friend 1: “I’m getting a house.” Friend 2: “I’m having a baby.” Friend 3: “I’m getting married.” Me: “I’m going to the airport.”

Wise and funny quotes about travel

We can learn from traveling and reading wise yet funny quotes about travel when we’re at home. 

“Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life.” ― Michael Palin

“When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” ― Helen Hayes

“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas and take your next trip in kilometers.”― George Carlin

 “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ― Helen Keller

“Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” ― Jack Kerouac

“Live life with no excuses, travel with no regret.” ― Oscar Wilde

michael Palin quote over the top if a photo of two women in italy.

Funny quotes about traveling with kids

Unsurprisingly, most of these funny travel quotes remain anonymous. 

“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.” ― Tom Lichtenheld

“Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while.”

“Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.”

“You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation.”

“Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.”

Funny anecdotes on X (formerly Twitter)

The bluebird has flown the nest but X, formerly known as Twitter, is still a treasure trove of travel wit and snappy one-liners. Here are the cleverest and funniest plucked from the wittiest social media platform. 

“Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.” National Park Service

“Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s like, take whatever bag you want.” Wandering Nick

“The fancier the hotel, the more likely I am to sleep with a towel on my face because I can’t figure out how to turn out all the lights.” Jen Rose Smith

“Got to love that final hour of a trip before the airport transfer, when you’re dressed for a flight to London but you’re still in a tropical country so you just… sit there, sweating profusely.”  Sarah J C Gillespie

“You know you’re getting older when you arrive at an airport two hours before the flight.” James Stewart

“Got an email saying I should get to the airport three hours early because of an update with the security systems. Got here and was through in five minutes. Can’t help feeling my dad is behind all this.”  Alexandra Haddow

“If I’m understanding correctly, in Italy, the norm is:

No breakfast, just espresso or cappuccinos.

Have a carb-heavy lunch/multi-hour meal from 1-3.

Take a 4-5 hour nap. Start dinner at 8.

Finish dinner at ~midnight

Drink wine all day.” David But In Survival Mode

“My kids mix their languages all the time but my favorite combo is Spanish and Scottish. Asking where a waiter had gone in a restaurant earlier: ‘Dónde está el wee mannie?’” Sophie Cameron

“When I worked in an office I asked a younger girl if she’d had a nice time in Ibiza on her first day back and she said, ‘aye it was brilliant we had an amazing time, one of my pals I went with died when we were out there but we still made the most of it.’ ” Natalie O’Donoghue

funny travel quote over the top of a woman rolling a suitecase.

Sarcastic travel quotes

Not forgetting that Twitter is the home of sarcastic travel quotes.

“Baffled by suitcase shops at airports. Are there people who arrive at the airport with piles of clothes in their arms and bunches of underwear slung around their necks, and think, blimey I knew I forgot something?” Rory Boland

I tried to take peanut butter through airport security.

TSA: “Sorry, no liquids, gels, or aerosols.”

Me: “I want you to tell me which of those things you think peanut butter is.” Patrick Neve

“If you’re at the London fireworks and managed to get a recording on your phone, please make sure to share it. Would love to take a look.” Sam Bowman

Silly travel quotes inspired by pop music

Your favorite songs will never be the same again. 

“Oops!… I Traveled Again.”

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,

Caught in bad turbulence…”

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my itinerary.”

“Hello suitcase, my old friend…”

“Cause if you liked it then you should have put an air tag on it.”

“Oh girls just wanna have trips.”

Funny travel quotes from movies

Watching a travel-themed film is a classic way to buck yourself up when you’re counting down (and saving up) for your next adventure. Especially if it’s a comedy. Let these funny travel quotes from movies inspire you. 

“Great! Where are we going?” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

“Sir, sir? Sir, excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I’m desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.” ― Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)

“First rule of India: there’s always room.” The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2004)

Joe Bradley: “Where do you live?”

Princess Ann: “…the Colosseum.”

Joe Bradley [to the taxi driver]: “She lives in the Colosseum.”

Taxi Driver: “Is wrong address!” Roman Holiday (1953)

“Just keep swimming.” Finding Nemo (2003)

“I’m just completely lost.” Lost in Translation (2003)

M. Gustave: “How fast can you pack?”
Zero: “Five minutes.”
M. Gustave: “Do it, and bring a bottle of the Pouilly-Jouvet ‘26 in an ice bucket with two glasses, so we don’t have to drink the cat piss they serve in the dining car.” The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

“For the last six months, he’s gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I’m betting he can get a passport.”  Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Pippin: “What about breakfast?” 

Aragorn: “Haven’t you had that already?” 

Pippin: “We’ve had one, yes. What about second breakfast?The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Jack: “What did he say?”

Peter: “He said the train is lost”

Jack: “How can a train be lost? It’s on rails.” The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

Oscar Wilde travel quote over the top of an image of the city of arts and sciences in Valencia.

Funny travel quotes from TV

Not forgetting TV.

“Sicily can be very seductive”. ― ‘That’s Amore’, The White Lotus, Season 2 (2022)

“I’m going to have to go into the map.” ― ‘The One With Ross’s Wedding’, Friends, Season 4 (1998)

“You go to St. Tropez to party, not to work. It’s like going to Ibiza to do your taxes.” ― ‘Do You Know the Way to St. Tropez?’ Emily in Paris, Season 2 (2021)

Funny travel quotes from books

Bookworms and bibliophiles, these will give you something to giggle over. 

“Queuing is a rarity in India but if you are the next in line, you do not stand behind the person being served. You stand next to him. If possible, you stand next to him with one elbow lightly touching his ribs, so that when he moves you are guaranteed your spot.” ― Monisha Rajesh, Around India in 80 Trains

“I think the world divides neatly into those who are excited by the managed induction of terror and those who are not. I do not find terror exciting: I find it terrifying.” ― David Foster Wallace, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again

“It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing – I used to be a good boy.” ― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad

“Being an immigrant is not for the admin-phobic.” ― Helen Russell, The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country

“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” ― J. R. R. Tolkein, The Hobbit 

Funny travel quotes from Bill Bryson

The eternal expat himself, Bill Bryson deserves his own segment.

“I sat thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place.” ― Bill Bryson, Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe

“Suddenly, in the space of a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain. Every last bit of it, good and bad – Marmite, village fetes, country lanes, people saying ‘mustn’t grumble’ and ‘I’m terribly sorry but’, people apologizing to me when I conk them with a nameless elbow, milk in bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in June, stinging nettles, seaside piers, Ordnance Survey maps, crumpets, hot-water bottles as a necessity, drizzly Sundays – every bit of it.” ― Bill Bryson, Notes from a Small Island

*Experience these phenomena in the Peak District, Lake District, and the Yorkshire Dales*

 “I was heading to Nebraska. Now there’s a sentence you don’t want to say too often if you can possibly help it.” ― Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

*Check out alternative US travel destinations*

Funny travel quotes from articles

Closing with some travel stories worth a read for their wit.

We had unpacked and gone down into the lobby for a cocktail when it happened. The rain had begun. It rained all night, and all day, and all night again. This was not mild, polite British rain, but a rumbustious, glutinous, violent downpour in the dark, soon accompanied by lightning and thunder which, again, went on interminably, like hours of strobe lighting followed by aerial bombing.” ― Hanif Kureishi, The Guardian

“No, there’s nowt fancy on ferries. They are classless places, for all sorts. This is something you can take in at your leisure, as ships are the only mode of transit I can think of on which you can take a proper stroll.” ― Adrian Chiles, The Guardian